I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
