Did you just see the Batmobile???
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
