You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
