I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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