We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
