the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
