he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
