wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Rumble strips road head = magical
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
