have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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