Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

Alarm just got pulled in my exam

(517): View more from Michigan

Swear it wasn't me

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(310): View more from California

I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.

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(630): View more from Illinois

That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then

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(303): View more from Colorado

I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week

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(224): View more from Illinois

That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.

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(513): View more from Ohio

He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.

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