Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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