That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
