think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
