Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Randomize
