Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
