my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
