If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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