she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I am midnight drunk by noon
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
