so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i believe in u and ur pee
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize