No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
