if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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