the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
