i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
