I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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