my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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