there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
