wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
