i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You have to summon your inner elephant
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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