we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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