I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
