u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
