Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
