Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
