don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
