11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
