last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
