Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
