I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
