I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
