I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize