That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
