I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
