32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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