This dress was meant to end up on your floor
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
