Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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