At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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