I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
