none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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