So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
