good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
