I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
