My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
