Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
