Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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