I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize