I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
