I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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