Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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