The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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