he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
